My Induction into Paranormal Life– Part X

Two years ago I was up to my eyeballs in circumstances! My husband and I had been dealing with severe behavior issues with our eldest daughter for approximately 4 years prior to the proverbial shit hitting the fan at my job. I’d managed to work through most of it.  I’d been blaming myself and feeling like a failure as a parent. I was an emotional wreck most of the time.  My work performance had started to suffer because I was preoccupied.  The leadership I had at that time was very understanding; however, and I was able to push past the problems at home and I threw myself into my work. After that, work had become my solace.  This was short-lived; however.

Ultimately, the company culture changed and morphed into something I no longer recognized.  My department director left to be the campus director at another location, and my manager, who at the time was my friend, got laid off.  After the dust settled, I found myself dreading going to work.  The leadership in my department had changed, and I’m not sure what it was that opened my eyes, but I remember walking into work one day and feeling anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere.  The tension in the atmosphere felt palpable to me, but when I went to my desk and looked around at my coworkers, no one else seemed to notice. I felt the tension in the air.  For the first time, I walked into a room and could sense how people were feeling.

I did not know at the time that I was a sensitive or that I was empathic.  I only knew that life had become very painful for me in both the figurative as well as the literal sense.  I was going to work every day to a job that I hated, but I was petrified to move on and start new somewhere else. I was paralyzed by the fear that I would end up in the same type of environment at a new job that I was suffering through at the current one.  I lacked self-confidence and I thought my situation at work had to do with something that was wrong with me.  “Hindsight is always 20-20.”  That’s what my soul says to me at this moment as I type. I am inclined to agree. My soul has always spoken to me, but I used to tune it out.  It took that despicable   work environment I was dealing with to make me start listening to it again.  It was like someone had removed the blinders I had on, and suddenly I could see things exactly how they were–no filters.

Thinking back I had started to feel it after my first director left. I had pushed it away thinking it was just apprehension over the changes.  Now my soul was telling me to take notice and watch my back.  I started listening to my soul voice, and began to take inventory of the things that I’d been denying and pushing away.  For instance, there were coworkers that I’d met years prior that I didn’t care for after just one interaction with them.  Something inside me said, “Stay away from this one.”  I just had a reaction to them upon meeting them that was unpleasant.  I would talk myself out of it because I knew nothing about them, thought it to be unfair to judge a person without really knowing them. I would think about how many times someone had judged me without knowing me, and would tell myself, “Give (him/her) a chance, that’s not fair.” As it turned out, my first impression was right every time.  I saw right through them and the masks they wore to hide their true natures. I sensed all the hidden agendas, all the hostility, and I knew the things they were saying behind my back. I didn’t hear them and no one had to tell me.  I simply felt it and I knew.

…to be continued…